"what" and "if" (:

What if we were made for each other
Born to become best friends and lovers
I want to stay right here
In this moment with you
Over and over and over again

What if this could be a real love
A love, a love, yeah
I don't know what to think
Is this real or just a dream
In my heart is where you'll be
I'll keep waiting till we meet
What if were made for each other
Born to become best friends and lovers
I want to stay right here
In this moment with you
Over and over and over again

What if this could be a real love
A love, a love, yeah
I write our names down in the sand
Picturing all our plans
I close my eyes and I can see
You, and you ask, "Will you marry me?"

Is it made up in my mind?
Am I crazy just wasting time?
I think this could be love
I'm serious

What if we were made for each other
Born to become best friends and lovers
I want to stay right here
In this moment with you
Over and over and over again

What if this could be a real love
A love, a love, yeah
Boy, you know you really make my heart stop
Stop, stop
Oh, what if this real love
What if this real love
Oh, boy, you make my heart stop
You make my heart stop


not by assuming, but what if.. =)
i am not worrying because God takes good care of you so...
what if?? =)

Glory of Love (:

Tonight it's very clear
Cause we're both lying here
There's so many things I wanna say
I will always love you
I will never leave you alone
Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't want to lose you
I could never make it alone
I am a man who would fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
You keep me standing tall
You help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone
I am a man who would fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you've been dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
It's like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away
I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that you're dreaming of
We're gonna live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
We live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
We did it all for love
We did it all for love
We did it all for love
We did it all for love...             (: ALL FOR LOVE

I'm your angel (:

No Mountains too high, for you to climb
All you have to do is have some climbing faith, oh yeah
No rivers too wide, for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray

And then you will see, the morning will come
And everyday will be bright as the sun
All of your fears cast them on me
I just want you to see...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

I saw the teardrops, and I heard you cry
All you need is time, seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely
It doesn't have to be this way, let me show you a better day

And then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears, just cast them on me
How can I make you see...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep up safe and warm
And I know we will survive

And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

-Celine Dion

angel Gabriel =)

it's always exciting to take up a role in drama because you get to act again and most importantly,you have to lost yourself for that very moment and be what you really need to be =) it's as if being someone else =)
interesting huh..
the role that i have taken has always speak to me in one way or another because every role brings out a message..so angel angel, what do i receive this time .. will know until i act =) teehee
i am looking forward to another christmas this year, without looking at anything else because all i want is just
LOOK UPON JESUS =)
it's all about YOU ..not about me.. not about others...

i am ready to be humble and learn from angel Gabriel...and Christabel doesn't exist in the drama..
there you go =)

who would have thought?? (:

That's the word you said ,"i never thought it's you at the end" =) kinda touches me.
True, who would have thought things changed this way.
We are the same, but something has changed. And that is the years we gone by, from naive to matured.
It's totally different now. Standing beside the road, even though it's dark and scary, but the light is shining because you said ,"this time no running into a mess"
there are a lot more cases but our heart knows better so there is no need to boast.
least expecting this year has made me feel a lot better =)
i should sound more excited because it is like waiting for someone, the one you wished for passed by but someone appeared right in front of you and you felt " oh my old friend, never thought it's you".
Friends..
all i wish for is some reconciliation of friendships. It comes and goes but don't try to grip it too tight.
It hurts, we all know that.
So take it easy, you can care a little, remain the love in the heart, endure until the day comes itself and have hopesss =)
Prayer is heard ..

overflowing blessings =)

Purse =)
Dinner with daddy in pizza =)
Dinner with aunt and cousins in Michelangelo =)
Two sweet mug=)
Family dinner=)
Light Yellow apple from ed =)
A video and magic cards =)
My record of singing =)
Fireworks in the city =)
Sweet calls and spam wishes in facebook and sms =)
Friends countdowns and early birthday wishes =)
New phone from guardian =)
Sparkle Necklace and a treasure box =)
Countless smile =)
two funny clothes =)
Celebration with teachers and friends =)
handmade bag and a book =)
Photoalbum =)
Two ferroro rocher =)
Love papers from chinese orchestra =)
sweet red card =)
lovely handmade name =)

things come when you least expect them =)
truly, from zero.. thanks for everything..


A GIFT OF BIRTH FROM MUM.
A GIFT OF BREATHE FROM GOD =)

Mum, just between us (:

Mum, today is my birthday.你在天堂看下来了吗？
你的宝贝17岁了，在你眼里， 我是否停留在15岁呢？=）
妈咪，这两年我得到太多的爱和祝福了，虽然就是少了你的陪伴，但就多了一份思念。
不用紧=）
今年难免掉了几滴眼泪，床上放着你的冷衣，洗不掉的温暖。。
亲爱的妈咪，可否再唱一次生日歌给我呢？
在梦里，我等你。谢谢你，我爱你=）

better person

Thank God for every experience when i have to remind myself that i am not a failure, or make me realize how wrong was i and to learn from my mistakes. You let me understand that being the best for God is not easy, although i tore myself down this time, although i was influenced this time, i am gonna humble myself to learn everything again and build myself.
God, truly You have revealed a lot of things to me this year, i have gained so much, at the same time, You have shown me my weaknesses that i can correct.
Lead my heart and build my character, from the start, to be a better person for You =)

one year old by now..

an issue was brought out..finally..
i don't know what i want..
I have played many roles in my life, and one of the greatest now is -an adopted child, which i never expected it would happen.
Some relatives and friends of my teacher asked : " you're taking her as your own child?? If you are, means we have to treat her like our own family members." or " what?? you're taking care of her and you said you're his father but not legal yet??"
I have been staying with them for a year and a few months more already. There's a lot of things going on my life when you just need the adult to go with you or settle with you. If it's not legal, people will ask my guardian " who are you".
Am i really ready to accept a new family?? Why is it hard for me when i found a home, and when i am having almost everything i need in life...
I told my teacher, gimme some time before i decide to go for procedures in legalizing our relationship.
God, things are never easy. Let me walk in Your light, and i don't have to harden up my heart without noticing. Just a little bit more of comfort. Amen.

"GOODBYE"

I took a deep breath.
Nothing in this world stays the same and they don't remain.
Things, people, memories slowly fade away...
The decision I've made, changes things right at the moment.
Left only, the flashbacks of everything.
It's not going to be the same, but i will walk it through, by FAITH.
I loosen the grip and was relieved.
It's more than a word "goodbye".
I left here, before the time ended.
It's like i am writing my story now and end with a twist.
It will not be a cliff hanger because i will hold on tight on what i have and what i want to achieve. =)

finally..

She said she wanted to see me. I puzzled with fear at first, but at last i decided to walk in and meet her. I prayed " God, grant me the wisdom to speak." I entered, she looked at me with a furious ans serious eyes and asked "婧柔，你可以听我说话吗？ ” I nodded. She gave me a lot of advices and guidances which i have already expected. I wasn't shaken, but my mind was stucked. I thought i was being a rebellious student. It wasn't like that. She ended her words and asked me to think deeper. The world freezed. Finally i decided to say out. "校长，我决定了。”
When i walked out, i was still trembling. Not in fear nor simply excited. I know once i have spoken that, i am responsible for my words and my life. I am gonna pray that God, no matter what happens, You'll open doors for me.
-with all sincerity and truth, i cling on YOUR PROMISES.

sweet =)

-The love under a hawthorn tree-
"You promise me that when you hear my name, you'll come back "
"I cannot wait for a year and a month, i cannot wait till you're 25, but i will wait for forever."

-The Last Song-
"I just need to know are you still there"
"When i say i am in and i am not going anywhere, can you believe that?"
"You are dead but it's alive for me now"

love you dad =)

there's no greater joy i found today then meeting you daddy =)
how i have longed for moments like this =) just chatting with you, laughing with you, patting your back and push you while you walk, saying nonsence and joke with you =) feeling the whole world is only me and you..
DADDY AND DAUGHTER
dad, you said i love to touch things since i was young, you once brought me to Sains Negara. I touched everything i see and i saw a light bulb and thought it was a button. I touched it and ouch, my finger burned =)
You know since mum left, you're the only person to remind me the funny things during childhood.
I love you =)
You used to just suddenly stop when i walk behind of you and i collided with you.
You used to pull my nose and said let it grow taller =) how foolish.
You used to break your promises but now i know i can count on something finally.
Rather than saying you left us before, now i would say that daddy, i am glad you came back.
I said today, " dad, i will be officially 17 soon..means you have grown older for 17 years after having me" =)
you always thought i am still a baby girl..so small so small..
You said you're 42 this year, i counted... when i am 30, almost the age of getting married, you're 55.. i did not tell you what i was thinking .. that's a secret of letting you know that i want you to hold me into the church =)
but i said " dad, be careful of your diet, your tummy is coming out, i want you to be healthy and have a long-life"
 I MEAN IT =)
thank you daddy..

born again =)

i'm a little bit excited because my birthday is coming soon =)
it's time to clear off some old messages so i have enough memory to let people spam my phone with wishes =)
this year's birthday i am gonna make myself someone who is new born to earth and don't own anything.
Why??
Because i wanna feel once again of being grateful about everything i have and everything that i don't deserve =)
if i held on to too many wishes, i am sure at the end of the day, there will be some little disappointments and i don't think i want it =)
things may come when you least expect them too.
so..dady mamy i love you =)
i will be officially seventeen SOON =) !!

merely a performance

i saw you posting that..for the first second i was extremely excited because what you just said i said before..
but after a second i thought, why was i reacting like that..
i knew somehow i was happy to know that..we still share something together =P
there's always something..very true huh.
Celine dion >> a new day, that's the way it is, TO LOVE YOU MORE

all the while

all the while i have been saying "nice" words to give myself a little comfort. A lot of times i remind myself not to do things to serve men but to serve God, and i always say "it's okay, i have tried". But my heart always yearn for results, yearn for some fruits that i can see and feel . I sang " my heart and faith will not be shaken"..

it comes to thursday once again.
it's always about thursday.
now i will tell myself, i am leaving soon. to start well and finish well is my goal and that's all.
what i can do. i have done.
I'll leave out the rest to God =)

i will go back to the beginning once again to build myself =)

 i love you all and hope you love me too.